A Sestina on Religion, Smoking, and Winter Wind
“I like this place because it’s empty and wild”
she said while taking a long breath out of her fag
pulling the smoke in deep to hold within her throat
like an internal necklace fingered for warmth and solace,
glittering, as she considered the immaculate conception.
It fell apart as she decided virginity was a human error
Which she figured, to think of was also an error
for it was not meant to be questioned within the wild
glades of the man-made religion, within the conception
of our own purity and innocence. She thumbed out the fag
on the concrete railing. “Is religion something to seek solace
in?” she posed to me, “Or should the prayers stay in our throats
To keep them warm?” her scarf fell from her throat
revealing the sensual weakness that was the God-made error
of all humanity. She continually sought her solace,
this girl, within the bizarre intelligence of Wilde
or within the trailing smoke of a poetic fag,
and with the belief in human conception
Being, at its base, fallible. It began with conception,
when the fetus feels out life in the echoes of its throat,
reverberating inside the womb. She pulled out another fag
and struck the match against the rail. It was her error
believing this world, outside her, was wild
yet so easily dismantled for her so that she may find solace
Among her own thoughts and the breakdown of this world. Solace
is not so easily found when sought and she strayed back to the immaculate conception
that everyone was in their own tidy box, while the cold air made her heart beat wild
in her throat
and suddenly she was aware of her error
as she flicked that fag.
At one time she had used the word fag
lightly as she sought solace
in the everyday use of labels, degrading the world into a train of error
breaking it down into the simple conception
that everyone and everything was detestable. She caught her scarf back to her throat
and the smoke flickered on the air and the wild
Of the moment. And as she pulled out another fag, repeating the same action and rethinking the conception
that all humans desire is solace, the icy wind caught her thoughts by the throat
and she felt the error of the world disappear, and it become again empty and wild.
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